Bathroom Faucet vs. Shower: Fantasia on a Theme

Which Do I Hate More?

The bathroom tap on vanity stands
To cleanse each pilgrim's toil-stain’d hands
But O! What delicate treachery abounds
Within those hellish pounding sounds!

For offerings, the rules are tight
And rare's the pilgrim who offers right.
On twisting out the hot, poor prayers find
Such moaning as to rend one's mind

They sear, they burn, they rattle bones,
These too-hot, too-demented moans.
Pilgrims leap to summon cold,
Hearts a-racing, blood made bold.

To bathtub tap, and your even’s rest,
Harried pilgrims, from journeys’ stress!
But respite flees on lupine legs
As ev’ry weary pilgrim begs.

If too much cold be added in
That baleful bellow uncoils within
And tub pipes loose upon the world
A shrieking misery unfurl'd.

The cold! Too much! Show mercy please—
Tub plumbing does not scald, but freeze.
Hasten hot into the tub
Before that long-awaited scrub.

While sink tap quails at the hot
Tub pipes shrink from what is not.
Which of them levies the dearer cost—
The one that asks for heat, or frost?

Turn your back, pilgrim sapped,
Renounce them both who leave you tapped.
Try the third while you yet think.
Behold your savior: kitchen sink.