You gotta ditch that thing.

The phone. The stupid cordless phone. The stupid, cunning cordless phone.

First, it was the intermittently bad reception. Then it was the battery that needed charging every two and a half minutes. We had finally had enough.

But put off action for far too long.

Then—enough! The phone is history, a mouldering relic of technology gone bad. (Welcome to the trash heap, "phone.")

We now have a new phone, and this one exists to serve. (Read: it knows its place.)

Who's laughing now?