You gotta unhook the thing and then rehook it.

The shower curtain. Need I continue? Ever since we switched to the C-shaped rings, all has been bedlam, the bathroom equivalent of trench warfare. An endless no-man's-land without the potential for movement of any kind. Progress? You think progress is still possible? You'll be lucky to see tomorrow.

Now, the shower head spits water all over the place. In order to keep the floor around that side of the shower dry, you have to unhook one of the shower rings and rehook it so that the shower curtain is pulled taut around the pipe that leads to the showerhead.

Don't worry about creating a diagram of this in your mind. That exercise will only drive you insane.

The point is: I fear I am on the brink of surrender.

You gotta call them to fix it again.

The phone! What is with the phone? We had the jack fixed once, but it's on the blink again. And now, because of it, we couldn't transfer our home phone service, like we wanted. The new company finally just gave up and told us they couldn't complete the switch because of this problem.

So it's another $50 service call.

And yet another realization that they are ALL in cahoots! All of them! The phone companies, the jack companies, the service call companies (?).

"Nothing stinks like collusioin."
—Voltaire

Voltaire did not actually say this, as far as I know.

You gotta use the key.

The key? It has come to that? About a month ago, my car died. The battery gave up the ghost. And ever since then, the key fob hasn't worked, so I can't lock and unlock the doors remotely.

I feel like a 19th century tradesperson! A chimneysweep or other unwashed type.

There I am, digging the key into the lock, turning it the wrong way, feeling like a fool!